


vehemence

by chopinseimei



Series: and who said you're one in a million? [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M, but i recommend u do, very very slight angst if u squint, you dont have to read catharsis to understand this, yuzu lands a quad axel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-26 01:45:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13847478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chopinseimei/pseuds/chopinseimei
Summary: Brian is talking, something about how it doesn’t matter what the results are, but really he can only think of Shoma. Shoma, who’d done so much after they’d gotten back together, Shoma, who’s come so far this past season, Shoma, who Yuzuru loves so, so much, and he just wants to show him that in what may be the most dramatic way possible.He takes to the ice; does his rituals, takes another deep breath. He cannot afford any mistakes.





	vehemence

During the free, all eyes are on Shoma.

Yuzuru is happy about this for two reasons; one, Shoma deserves it- he’s in gold right now after Yuzuru had made one too many mistakes in his short program- and two, because Yuzuru could do with as little pressure as possible right now with what he’s about to do. He’s skating right before Shoma, who’s going last, _which_ does make him feel a bit guilty because if all goes to plan, Yuzuru will have smashed his own world record to pieces. He can’t imagine having to skate after that.

Nathan is finishing up his own program right now, and Yuzuru breathes in deeply. Brian is talking, something about how it doesn’t matter what the results are, but really he can only think of Shoma. Shoma, who’d done so much after they’d gotten back together, Shoma, who’s come so far in his career, Shoma, who Yuzuru loves so, so much, and he just wants to show him that in what may be the most dramatic way possible.

He takes to the ice; does his rituals, takes another deep breath. He cannot afford any mistakes.

The music starts, a little faster and upbeat than some of his previous programs, but this season he’d wanted to do something original. Something that would have everyone on the edge of their seats all over again, no matter how many times he skates to it. He hasn't done this cleanly in competition, but that's about to change.

In a way, this program and his short connect; he’d made a few adjustments after he and Shoma had gotten back together, so now the two programs aren’t just about losing someone so close, someone who you’d loved so much and let go anyway. No- that’s what his short program’s for- but this is healing, getting them back, feeling their lips on yours and arms around you again after you’d been so close to- and so certain about- losing it all.

He keeps slipping into those thoughts constantly but lets his mind drift on (save for when he’s doing his jumps- like he said, he can’t afford any mistakes) throughout the program, until he hears the music start to increase in volume. This is it.

Yuzuru thinks of Shoma, even as he sets up the jump. He hadn’t told Brian about this, but his coach couldn’t not have noticed that Yuzuru was suddenly training his axels a lot. But it feels like the right thing to do, and after such a long year that isn’t even over yet, he deserves to take a few risks. Such as putting a _quad fucking_ _ axe l  _ in the second half of his program.

He launches himself into the air, feels the spray of the ice behind him. He feels light, and for a second he’s scared that he’ll fall before he realises he’s doing it. Four and a half rotations, and he’s landing near-flawlessly with arms spread wide. It’s dead quiet, for a few moments, as if noone can fathom what he’d just done, but then everyone loses it; he can spot Brian practically leaping into the air, cheering loudly along with the rest of the audience. Shoma, watching from the sidelines, looks positively ecstatic, and Yuzuru’s pretty sure he’s crying a little (it’s the fact that Shoma’s covering his mouth with his hands; he does that when he cries, at least if it’s a happy one.)

With that jump plus the second half bonus, he knows his score’s going to be huge. His legs ache, but he urges himself to manage his last jump (triple loop- he’d changed it from a quad because he doesn’t want to kill his legs _just_ yet) and spin before finishing with his arms up, grin wide and teary and he’s so so exhausted, but so, so happy.

When he skates back out, Shoma is kind of just.. staring. He has something in his other hand, not visible due to the way he’s standing, but after a few moments he shakes his head, practically beams, and hands Yuzuru the plush Pooh bear. It’s wearing his Seimei costume and a gold medal, and it takes all that Yuzuru has not to burst out in giggles and kiss his boyfriend right then and there.

“I love you,” Shoma whispers, too quiet for any cameras to pick up on. They have time for this; it’ll take upwards of a minute for the ice to be cleared of the avalanche of Poohs. “And you are so, so amazing.” their fingers brush, oh so briefly, and Yuzuru almost manages to get out a reply, but then he’s being ushered to the Kiss and Cry by a flustered staff member  _ too  _ quickly.

(Not before he manages to mouth a ‘good luck’ and ‘I love you too’ to Shoma, who just laughs nervously with a very, very cute blush

Brian is practically crying, hugging Yuzuru and saying how great he’d done and how proud he was, but also  _ that was dangerous, why didn’t you even warn me you were going to do that I could’ve had a heart attack.  _ By the time the scores come in, Yuzuru thinks it can’t get any more insane than this, the noise buzzing around him and the cheering and Shoma, Shoma looks so happy-

232.07.

Everyone loses their absolute shit.

Brian is crying even more now, hugging Yuzuru briefly before jumping up and waving to everyone as if he were the one who’d broken the record. Yuzuru laughs, noting the tears that are starting to fall but not making any attempt to stop them, before doing the same, bowing deeply to the audience. He meets eyes with Shoma, who gives him a thumbs up, and in what seems like less than a moment later he’s watching his boyfriend skate out, looking calm despite the fact that he’d just seen someone demolish their own world record and land a  _ quad fucking axel.  _ Yuzuru can’t believe it at all, but he knows he couldn’t have gotten that score without executing that jump properly.

He tries to focus on Shoma’s program in his excitement, and it works, to some extent. But he becomes lost in the movements in his step sequence, imagining the story behind the jumps and spins despite the fact that he’d been one of the main characters.

Shoma hadn’t changed his program, but something about the way he skated it had changed after they’d gotten back together. At the end of the program, there’s- something; a glimmer of hope, in the way that Shoma’s hand reaches out to the audience almost reluctantly toward the end of his program, the way his eyes glitter and mouth barely misses a smile. It reminds Yuzuru that he’s never going to stop loving him, for as long as those lips are on his, those eyes sparkle when they meet Yuzuru’s, those arms around him while they sleep in a single hotel bed after debating just pushing them together because of course they’re that ridiculous.

Yuzuru’s in love with all of that, and he still hates himself for doubting that all those months ago.

The program finishes and Yuzuru realises that it’s not only him that’s crying. Shoma reaches out to the audience, looking breathless, tears streaming down his face despite the fact that he’s smiling, and all of a sudden Yuzuru can’t help himself, he runs back out to where Shoma has just exited the ice and hugs him (almost kisses him, too, but he somehow manages to stop himself _ almost  _ too late.)

“Yuzu!” Shoma laughs, returning the embrace for a few moments before turning to give a thumbs up to his coach, who’s giving them both a fond look. “I didn’t get to tell you- you did great out there!”  _ but you did _ , Yuzuru wants to tell him, but doesn’t until they’re in his hotel room that night. He saw it in the way Shoma skated, telling _ their  _ story, weaving in the emotions of guilt, anger, and sometimes nothing at all (he wonders if that was unintentional, though.) And then the hope, right at the end, where they are now.

“You did too,” Yuzuru breathes, as they both walk to the Kiss and Cry together. Some people look confused, but noone stops him. He hugs Shoma again once they sit down, if only to hide the embarrassing amount of tears still welling up in his eyes. “You were so beautiful. I love you so much. I’m so proud.” noone but Shoma hears those words, and Yuzuru knows because he’d been so quiet that, for a second, he’d thought he was just thinking until Shoma’s embrace tightened, a laugh bubbling up in the other’s throat.

Yuzuru only turns away from the (admittedly slightly uncomfortable) fabric of Shoma’s costume to see his score, and almost immediately he _ leaps  _ out of the embrace and cheers. A new personal best for Shoma, who is currently recovering from almost being knocked over but cheering anyway. Mihoko doesn’t say much, just congratulates her pupil on his 2nd place and reminds him that they need to leave the Kiss and Cry soon for interviews.

It all feels so surreal, but Yuzuru knows that this is it when Shoma kisses him in a deserted corridor, lips chapped and slightly dry but oh so addictive regardless. They stay there a little longer than what can be called normal, but noone seems to comment on the fact that their faces are flushed when they reemerge for interviews, or that they’re wearing eachother’s jackets.

On the podium, Yuzuru throws all caution to the wind. Standing there, gold medal and flowers in hand, one arm linked with Shoma’s, he kisses his boyfriend right then and there under the spotlight, with hundreds of cameras trained on them, and honestly he wouldn’t have this any other way.

* * *

 

(There’s a buzzfeed article written about him a day later; ‘Yuzuru Hanyu, breaking world records, the internet and our hearts all in one day,’ but his only comment on it is that Shoma should’ve been mentioned more.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> heyheyhey!!! the pacing on this is wack but yknow who cares tbh ahdhdfghfg  
> i just. needed to get this out of my system bc i've had this in my head for the past couple days and since i had no school today i figured?? why not finish it off  
> (also bc im curious; would anyone be interested in like,, a side story thing where it's the media reaction to all this? idk it'd be fun)


End file.
